love(first draft)

So eh. I'm using the character Mali from the short story I posted a few weeks ago and placing her in a different setting. This is the first bit of the story, but I want to post it to get feedback on how it looks so far. Feeling a bit iffy on the descriptive bits, but here it is, have at it. 


“So you’re still going to Blue Corporation?”
“Yep.”
She tightened the laces on her boots.
“Have you really thought about what you’re doing, though?”
“Nope. No clue.”
He shook his head at her sarcasm.
“There are better ways to get the polymer. Putting your life in danger isn’t nece-”
”But the monks need it.”
”We can get by without it. It‘s a privilege, not a necessity.”
Mali shook her head.
”I‘m going.”
”Do you ever think about anyone but yourself? How would the children feel if you were killed? How would I feel?”
“Sssshhh.”
“What?”
“Can you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“Just listen!”



He became totally silent, focusing his ears, trying to pick up the faintest noise.
“I..don’t hear anything.”
“I do. It’s the sound...of cowardice.”
He glared.
“Look, shut up, stop pissing yourself. I’ll be back...soon. I think.”
She rose from the edge of the bed, picked up a small pack and slung it over her shoulder. She patted his bald head.
“You should grow your hair back. You look like a young old man.”
He swatted at her hand, hitting air as she pulled away, giggling at him. He followed her out of the shack, watched her walk away into the forest. He cursed her.
“Mali! Mali!”
No answer.
“Don’t get yourself killed!”
He stood there for a moment longer, then turned around, returning to his shack, full of worry and doubt.

She smirked and shook her head at his words. She hated how he worried. It made her nervous, and when she was nervous she hesitated. She sighed.
The path she took would take her through the forest to the steam trains that ran to the eastern cities. She took care to keep her steps quiet. Bandits camped in the area, resting from their campaigns but always on the look out for victims to further bolster their pockets. Mali hunted them when they troubled the monks, but tonight wasn’t the time. She had to move quickly.

She arrived at the train station thirty minutes later. Aside from the workers, the station was nearly deserted. A teenaged boy swept the train deck. He glanced at her, muttered a greeting and continued his task. He reminded her of a boy from the monastery.
She approached the ticket booth. The vendor, a well aged gentlemen whose beard hung down past his chest, was well asleep. She tapped the glass three times. He merely snored loudly. The boy mumbled.
“Hmm?” said Mali.
“You want some tickets?” he said a bit louder.
“Please?”
He grumbled, feeling around in his pockets for a key.
“Hold on.”
He entered the door next to the vendor window and popped the old man on the back of his head.
“What was that for!?” the old man growled.
“Wake the hell up, we got customers and shit..” The boy exited the vendor’s room and continued sweeping the deck.
The old man glanced at Mali, rubbing the back of his head.
“Didn’t have to hit me....how can I help you?”
“One ticket to Bonoe.”
“The city?”
“I..guess so.”
He nodded his head, stroking his beard.
“Nice place. Very nice place. My grandson lives there.”
Mali smiled weakly.
“He’s a nasty little bastard. Like Tom over there.”
“Shut the fuck up.” quipped the boy.
“See what I mean! Horrible!”
“Give her the damn tickets old man!”
He grumbled and glanced at a schedule.
“The next train’ll be here in an hour. Ticket’ll be..eh...five pearls. Yeah, five pearls.”
Mali reached into her pack and retrieved a pouch filled with small shimmering sphere. She paid him and took her ticket.
“Hope you have a nice trip. Train’s been a bit rough these past few days with them uh...what’re those things called Tom?”
“Karoks.”
“Yeah, them! You know about Karoks miss?”
Mali nodded.
“I’ve dealt with them before.”
“Dealt with them? You know how to work a gun ma’am?”
“I don’t use guns.”
The old man raised an eyebrow.
“Now you’re telling me you dealt with Karos and didn’t use a gun? I find that hard to believe.”
Mali shrugged.
“Life is strange.”
She sat at a bench while the old man mumbled to himself. The quiet of night was calming. She found herself rummaging through her pack, looking for an old photo book. There was only one page of pictures, Mali with the orphans the monastery. The picture brought her a sense of joy, the orphans being closest to her heart. They didn’t deserve such a hard life.
“You from Jenka?” Tom asked her.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah.”
“You don’t look like a monk, though.”
“Well, I’m not a monk.”
“...but you’re from the monastery.”
“Ya.”
Tom scratched his chin.
“So normal people just live in monasteries with monks?”
“Jenka has an orphanage. That’s where I grew up.”
“Oooh.  Makes sense I guess.”
“So where are you from?”
He pointed to the north.
“Pointa village?”
He nodded.
“It’s a shit town.” he mumbled.
“It’s not that bad. It’s pleasant.”
“It’s boring. Like livin’ in a..graveyard or somethin’.”
“I think you’re being dramatic.”
He shrugged.
“Livin’ there is different then visitin’ there. But whatever. Why’re you goin’ to Bonoe?”
“Looking for something..special.”
“Specia-”
The sound of the incoming train interrupted Tom’s sentence.
“Huh. Train’s early.”
Mali rose from her seat as the train pulled alongside the station and stretched.
“If you hate Pointa so much, you should probably go to one of the eastern cities.” she said as she approached the conductor, who tipped his hat to Tom.
“But I don’t have any money!” Tom shouted over the roar of the train engine. Mali shrugged.
“That’s never stopped me!” she said with a smile as the train door closed behind her. The train pulled off with a loud whistle, leaving Tom standing in the middle of the deck, comtemplating his future.

The train was empty, save for the crew that operated the train.
“Business’ slow, huh?” she said to the conductor as he approached her. He sighed.
“Those damned karoks. They’re breeding like crazy all of sudden, all throughout the countryside. It’s a mess out here.”
“Weird they keep coming up...I haven’t seen any since the the summer.”
“It’s not this area they’re menacing. A bit northeast from here you’ll their dens. Good thing its nighttime. I don’t think its worth risking going through there during the day anymore...enough of me complaining. Anything I can get you ma’am?”
Mali shook her head.
“Well, just holler if you need anything.”
He tipped his cap and exited the car, headed to the engineer car. Mali tried to relax, slouching in her seat and closing her eyes. Her exterior was calm but her mind was racing. She had never been to a city before, and Bonoe was one of the biggest in the world.
She remembered the stories told to her by the monks about the eastern cities. How they were dens of avarice and lust, how no decent man could stand living in such a place, lest the vile practices of the heathens rub off on him and turn him away from the gods. Mali always rolled her eyes at the monk’s hyperbole, but she could help but wonder what laid in wait for her. She felt herself falling to sleep. She welcomed it.