love(first draft)

So eh. I'm using the character Mali from the short story I posted a few weeks ago and placing her in a different setting. This is the first bit of the story, but I want to post it to get feedback on how it looks so far. Feeling a bit iffy on the descriptive bits, but here it is, have at it. 


“So you’re still going to Blue Corporation?”
“Yep.”
She tightened the laces on her boots.
“Have you really thought about what you’re doing, though?”
“Nope. No clue.”
He shook his head at her sarcasm.
“There are better ways to get the polymer. Putting your life in danger isn’t nece-”
”But the monks need it.”
”We can get by without it. It‘s a privilege, not a necessity.”
Mali shook her head.
”I‘m going.”
”Do you ever think about anyone but yourself? How would the children feel if you were killed? How would I feel?”
“Sssshhh.”
“What?”
“Can you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“Just listen!”

This is the first draft of something I wrote off the top of my head. I'm trying to write with more feeling and less thought, as to make my writing a bit stronger. This needs a lot of work before it can actually become an acceptable piece, but this is my blog of doom and I can post whatever shit I want to. So, here it is.

The night was full of darkness and fear, something that made her feel welcome. She was used to the sights of swindlers courting their prey, gangsters jockeying for position amongst their ilk, the sense that at anytime, one could be taken advantage of, knocked out, later waking up naked, all possessions gone, or perhaps an even more sinister situation.